South Park Town Hall · Motion 1 of 5

Motion One — raise the price to cover the loss

MOVED: that the price of a Forever stamp rise from 55¢ to 63¢, because the Postal Service is losing money and the money has to come from somewhere.

It is the most reasonable sentence anyone says all night. Costs exceed revenue. Revenue comes from postage. Therefore raise postage. Nobody in the room can find the flaw, because the flaw isn't in the sentence — it's in what happens next month.

Postage isn't a tax; it's a price, and prices have customers. Every increase quietly re-runs the mail-or-don't-mail decision inside ten thousand marketing budgets, and some of them come back 'don't.'

The revenue arrives on schedule. The volume leaves on a delay, which is exactly why nobody connects the two.

Source: USPS price changes Jan 2019 (55¢) → Jan 2023 (63¢); PRC, State of the Postal Service

The floor is open

Randy: Look, I ran the numbers. We're short. So we charge more. That's just business, Sharon.
Kyle: You're short because fewer people are mailing.
Randy: Right. Which is why we need more money from the ones who still do.
Kyle: ...do you hear it? Say the whole thing out loud. Slowly.
Randy: We need more money. From the ones. Who still do.
Randy: Yeah, that sounds great. All in favor?

No solutions in Act 1. The town gets five decisions and takes all five. Skip to the rebuttal.