Randy
It's green!
Do you know how many trees are in a mutual fund prospectus? Sharon, we're saving a FOREST.
Breaking, on the town hall television
Good news from Washington.
The town has run out of things to raise. And then, on the news, a bill: banks, brokers and funds will no longer have to mail you anything at all.
The room loves it — for four incompatible reasons
Cartman
It's free!
Wait — so the postage they were spending... just becomes money? For no reason? That's the greatest law ever written.
Butters
It's modern!
My dad says paper's for old folks. He says everything important comes by email now. He says that a lot, actually.
Mr. Mackey
It's secure!
The SEC says electronic delivery is more secure, mmkay. And they're the government, so.
The dossier — what is actually happening
None of this is invented for the episode. Every item below is a real bill, rule or published number, current as of August 2026.
The bill
INVEST Act, Section 205 — electronic delivery by default
Passed the House Dec 11, 2025 · introduced in the Senate
Section 205 folds in the Improving Disclosure for Investors Act (H.R. 2441) and directs the SEC to finalize a rule, within a year of enactment, permitting investment companies to switch to electronic-only delivery for financial information that is currently required to be sent on paper. Investors may opt back into paper if they ask.
H.R. 2441 / INVEST Act §205; House Financial Services Report 119-136The rule
SEC Regulation E-Delivery — proposed July 16, 2026
Comment period closes September 21, 2026
The SEC did not wait for the Senate. Reg E-Delivery creates a safe harbor letting covered entities default recipients to electronic delivery without first obtaining affirmative consent, with opt-out and free paper on request. It would supersede the Commission's decades-old opt-in guidance and expressly cites savings in paper, printing and postage.
SEC Release 33-11430; Federal Register, July 21, 2026The other bill
PAPER Act (H.R. 4538) — the one nobody's moving
Introduced July 17, 2025 · still in committee
Would prohibit banks and credit unions from conditioning service on the sole use of digital monthly statements — every consumer keeps the right to a paper statement. Two bills, opposite directions, same Congress. One passed a chamber in five months. The other has not had a vote.
H.R. 4538, 119th Congress (Turner, OH)The number
$3–4 billion in savings over five years
Industry's own estimate
The Investment Company Institute — the funds' trade association, and the loudest voice for default e-delivery — estimates funds would save $3 to $4 billion over five years by going electronic. Read that number twice: almost all of it is postage that stops being paid.
Investment Company Institute, Modernizing Disclosure for a Digital WorldThe context
USPS planned to lose $8.1 billion this year anyway
FY2026 Integrated Financial Plan
Before a single statement goes paperless, USPS projects 101.5 billion pieces in FY2026 — down 7.2 billion pieces (6.6%) from FY2025 — and a net loss of $8.1 billion. That is the network the town just voted to take more mail out of.
USPS FY2026 Integrated Financial PlanThe motion to celebrate
- Randy: Motion to send a letter to Congress supporting the bill.
- Kyle: A letter.
- Randy: An email. Motion to send an EMAIL to Congress. See? Already saving money.
- Stan: ...
- Stan: Dad. Those K Street guys who bought you drinks. Who do they work for?
- Randy: ...Banks, mostly. Why?
- Stan: Wait. Who was mailing all that?
Nobody in the room answers, because nobody in the room ever asked.